I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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