He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize