erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
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