Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Randomize
