Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Apparently you make a good broom.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
