You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
You have to summon your inner elephant
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
