dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
MIDGETS
????
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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