are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
No stitches, just platelets and will power
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
