oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
