My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
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