it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
You can't special order awesome
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Randomize
