all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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