i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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