I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
