You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Randomize