no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
