FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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