I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
