I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
