We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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