You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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