isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
The power of my boobs compel you
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