This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Is Oprah even human
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
