We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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