i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
