yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
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So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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