you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
