I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Randomize
