I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
