So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
