when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
