Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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