That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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