Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Pants are for mortals
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize