Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
