apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
