Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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