I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Randomize
