Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Randomize
