I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
