I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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