saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
