So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
