I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
