Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
