I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
you would pick up someone in the library
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize