The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
My liver just had a heart attack.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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