fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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