is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
