i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
only you would photoshop your dick
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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