Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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