More tranny stories later!
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
