i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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