I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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