I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
