mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Randomize
