Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
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