They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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