how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
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