OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
They should really pass out barf bags in church
someone owes me an orgasm
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
