Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
